They came for Dani Behr, I said 'she's over there behind the wardrobe'

Christmas Party 2006

Always entertaining the christmas party. For me this year, however, it was a thing of fear!

My ex was coming! AND my ex hates my ex, who was also coming. Now I know I said in the last post that shitting on doorsteps was poor BUT sometimes a man needs to shit and hasn't got the time to make the choice!

To be fair I have been around there for aboot 10 years too.

My ex is still upset and a big scene was on the cards as the other insists on talking to me and that make my ex lose her senses!

Fortunately, my ex decided not to come last minute and all was ok! So off to Great Portland Street we went. It was a disappointing turnout to be fair. Aboot 90 people I'm told. I know that's a fair few, but it used to be 200. Sadly the 'fun police' have been concentrating on destroying any team ethic or social fabric in our department and fewer and fewer people want to go.

Guess what the theme was!??? Go on guess! No? James Fucking Bond! Oh how original. You know how we knew when we got there? There was a cut out of Bond and a big poster. Bag of shite! We had a casino too, with pretend money and the dumbest croupier I've ever seen. Ever played black jack with a croupier who struggles to count to twenty? Jesus! It was like urinating treacle.

So, on to the meal! Soup, nice! Tukey and spuds! Not bad! Christmas pudding! 'I'll have two please!' Oh dear! Look what Santa did on Hether's pudding. Bad Santa!

He's only gone and done a white wee on it!

Ah the joy of secret santa. Every spends money on shit presents and keep piss poor stores in business.

I even ate the mince pie!

So then I played black jack for an hour with a lovely scottish lass. Then I danced with a lovely mexican lass. When I say danced I am maybe pushing the definition to its extreme. So Hethers gets so drunk he doesn't know who he is (not a big drinker our Hethers) and is jigging around on the dance floor knocking people over and covered in balloons (much to the displeasure of his bird).

At this point me and the Dome would normally take one of the disposable table cameras and take an anonymous shot of unholy parts of our bodies. Sadly Dome is in the Kong chasing the yellow dream, so I just had another Guinness.

It all went on till aboot 4 (with me avoiding a drunken middle aged lass who would do anything in the mean time) and then we toddled off home.

And I saw no misbehaviour.

Bobbins!