You're so pretty when you're faithful to me.

Sunday evening! I am just back from a joyous trip to sunny Oxford and its environs. Friday night I had some good kosher fun with my friend Loober. We had a nice bit of Japanese food (her first time and it was made a touch difficult by the fact that no shellfish were allowed and the fact that fish to be eaten must have fins and scales! - We were unsure on eels and had to miss them) and a bottle or two of red wine. A very pleasant evening and I now have very sore stomach muscles!

Saturday I drove over to see Little P. This man, legendary for his well packed bottom, is a great friend of mine for over 19 years (second only to Pantsfellah!) and we always have a top time together no matter how long it's been. First we had a quick pint watching the mighty blues (a creditable 0 - 0 draw at Anfield), not the most interesting game and disappointingly Rafa Benitez joined sulking dickhead Hosepipe Mourinho and white stick carrier Arsepipe Wenger on the whinge wagon.

The we went on to watch some real football at the Kassam stadium. Most noticeable aboot this place is the fact it only has stands on three sides. What should be the away end is just a wooden fence!!! Anyway, did I say real football? To be fair it was very poor. Cambridge went one up against the run of play and the Oxford sneaked an equaliser in the second half in a quite dull game. Always nice to see a spot of footie though.

[OH! brief aside, I went the Doc's to check if I needed any further jabs for my hols. AND disappointingly I did, a meningitis jab. I was very brave though and got a sticker for it!]

Am I not brave? (I stuck it on an elephants bottom)

So! After the footie and what seemed like an eternity riding on buses we got back to his hometown of Faringdon. A very pleasant little place. We then embarked on a pub crawl, especially taking in all the rough pubs his lovely wife McGroot will not let him frequent.

Many pints of Guinness were quaffed and it was a top night, most interesting moment of the evening was stood at the bar of the Wheatsheaf and seeing a fella waltz round the side with his nads out and a luminous bracelet round them (one up from your usual displays eh Dome?). We ended up in a curry house the size of a front room and enjoy the antics of a drunken local sliding down the stairs on his arse and then abandoning his bird to pay! (which she didn't!) Ah the joys of rural life.

We then decamped to P's capacious home (which has more doors than any house I've ever known) for a bit of Young Ones watching and P falling asleep and snoring. An excellent evening.

But now I back and have to relay the end of an era. This is 'puter chair:

A piece of shit but it served me well for the last 4 years. It was hellishly uncomfortable and I'm sure the source of my bruised coccyx for the last year or so, I mean look at it! The back is ripped so I couldn't lean back and I had to stick 2 cushions on to make it bearable. It also gave me rough elbows.

BUT NOW! Behold:

'Puter Chair II this is the future of 'puting. And the future is comfortable! How did I survive so long? I should have listened to Angry!