Free radio Albemuth

I is back!

Namibia was top (I'll tell you later).

I'm shattered so I'll just put this on:

Just look at those two naughty rabbits causing a breach of the peace.

Fortunately someone called the 'Chicken Enforcers' and they don't fuck aboot.

Charge straight in, solve the problem and then strut off to do more good.

Chicken enforcers! Awesome!

Lovely moonchild, drifting in the echoes of the hours

Well, A few beers last night in Greenwich to celebrate Angry catching me up in age. He didn't turn up till half nine!!! Rude.

I was careful drinking though as today I am off on holiday to Namibia.

Wish me luck.

Accordingly here is some tat. Allegedly these are real exam answers:

To be honest I thought that was a hard question. Good underlining of elephant teacher.
Does anyone out there know how to answer this question. I agree with the tactic. If you don't know the answer make up a new question.
Unprofessional teacher, never encourage bad behaviour.
I could answer this one. But who's to say his answer isn't correct. In my line of work I'm told that 'no idea is a bad idea'. No one actually believes it though. AND I would have the captain up for constructive dismissal (unless he did indeed sleep with his wife.)

Have a good coupla weeks all.

Maybe life is like a ride on the freeway....

Saturday Morning.

Soccer A.M. is muttering away in the front room, I'm sat in the 'puter room watching the sun burst into my bedroom.

I'm chatting to good friend in Spain via the media of MSN Messenger.

Blue skies out the back window.

I'm nursing a slight hangover.

Typical Saturday really.

Mental Jane just called from angry's (she visiting his missus Smelly) she's over from Australia and we're all out the Spanish Galleon to celebrate Angry's birthday tonight.

Mazzy Must was supposed to pop over but she's running late.

That in essence is my saturday.

In an effort to spice things up, here is a picture of a millipede I took in Langkawi, Malaysia:

Halil Ibrahim Sofrasi

Well, Thursday over. What happened?

Not much really.

I did get a phone call from Mank. Bless him, he's 39 and lives in a rented bedsit. Has done for many many years. He's a lovely bloke, he's just not like you or I. I fear he'll be there when he's 50 living the same life.

I've also started reading this book:

Look closely......

Is it just me or does that space stationlook like a bunch of tits????

Well I think so. Didn't notice it when I bought it, now I feel foolish.

Who the hell does Geoff Dreadnought think he is?

Will this rain never end?

It's battering it down here.

'Where have I been' I hear you cry? Well..... 'Where haven't I been?' would be a better question.

Thursday night was the Hammer's leaving do.

[Before I get on to that I must relate his leaving speech. Well the funny bit:

The Hammer: "When I said to my workmates in Birmingham that I was moving to the Head Office in London they said 'Don't go down there it's full of arrogant tossers' and it's good to see so many of you here today!!" - Genius]

Much ale was quaffed (or to quote the Dome 'much piss was throated' - sadly he wasn't there as he's eating duck vaginas in the Kong) and I went on to Greenwich for a few more too.

Then me and Angry decided we needed kebabbage so we got that and watched a film till 2.

Surprisingly I was somewhat jaded the next day.

Unfortunately the next day was big team's drinks. So I waddled down the pub and partook in red wine followed by lots of lager. Somehow by closing time me LooLoo and Scoot decided to go for a curry [there's a food theme developing here] so we set off only to find the curry house shut, and the next one and the next one....

We ended go to some dubious £3 a curry place with the most miserable staff ever seen. But it was nice. Meant we had to go back to Scoot's place in the ghetto (in the ghetto). Ended up staying over (but had a very nice cuddle) and watched a film till very late. [another pattern].

Then! It was Saturday morning and I had to drive to see mum and dad. Man I was so tired I could barely keep me eyes open. You know when you're driving along and you jump and you know you fell asleep for a few secs. Not good. So I pulled over for a cheeseburger and 2 cans of red bull and managed to get to Liverpool in one piece (buoyed by an Everton win!).

Not really much to say aboot 2 nights at mum and dad's. Mum is still very ill and now it's starting to really get dad down. He's on the verge of cracking.

I did have a sausage dinner (2 sausages, tomato, onion gravy, peas and chips) from the chippy though which was lush.

Then Monday morning I drove to Sheffield for a days work their. It's took me 5 hours to get home from Sheffy. I was shattered.

Sadly on Monday morning Pants' dad died. Pants' Dad was a top man and I grew up with him down the road. He was a very intelligent man with a great dry wit. If Pants grows up to be like him then he'll be a great man (even greater than now (he's gonna look just like him)). He got Pants through some bad times and was a great father.

In tribute I think you should all watch this great video from Baris Manco:

Don't you love those expressionate hands?

And this I know, his teeth as a white as snow....

Hello! I am just back from footie. We lost!

We always seem to lose when the German plays, I put it down to his zonal marking.

Sadly it was also the Hammer's testimonial (I paid his fee in honour of him). He is moving to Leeds and will be a huge loss to the team. I will miss the bloke. He's a lovely fella and funny with it.

I had my end year appraisal with Joe 90 yesterday. What a cunt. His parting gift was a bad review for me. He told me the reason why he was forced to leave was because people had a perception he'd been in the job too long! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

He was actually forced out because he couldn't deal with people.

But since he threatened a law suit (with good grounds) for unfair dismissal and was given another job he has managed to convince himself it was all for a good reason. I wish I could be so delusional.

Hey, want to know my favoutitest text message ever? Wee Scotch sent it me:

"Oh take a pic2pith yo5food, c"

Genius! What the hell does it mean though?

Oh. I set up Loo Loo and Thumby Egg Man on a date. It didn't go well. I shall never play cupid again.

We had a bit of snow last week. I thought I'd show you:

Spunky grounds.

Spunky front yard.

I love a bit of snow!

You're so pretty when you're faithful to me.

Sunday evening! I am just back from a joyous trip to sunny Oxford and its environs. Friday night I had some good kosher fun with my friend Loober. We had a nice bit of Japanese food (her first time and it was made a touch difficult by the fact that no shellfish were allowed and the fact that fish to be eaten must have fins and scales! - We were unsure on eels and had to miss them) and a bottle or two of red wine. A very pleasant evening and I now have very sore stomach muscles!

Saturday I drove over to see Little P. This man, legendary for his well packed bottom, is a great friend of mine for over 19 years (second only to Pantsfellah!) and we always have a top time together no matter how long it's been. First we had a quick pint watching the mighty blues (a creditable 0 - 0 draw at Anfield), not the most interesting game and disappointingly Rafa Benitez joined sulking dickhead Hosepipe Mourinho and white stick carrier Arsepipe Wenger on the whinge wagon.

The we went on to watch some real football at the Kassam stadium. Most noticeable aboot this place is the fact it only has stands on three sides. What should be the away end is just a wooden fence!!! Anyway, did I say real football? To be fair it was very poor. Cambridge went one up against the run of play and the Oxford sneaked an equaliser in the second half in a quite dull game. Always nice to see a spot of footie though.

[OH! brief aside, I went the Doc's to check if I needed any further jabs for my hols. AND disappointingly I did, a meningitis jab. I was very brave though and got a sticker for it!]

Am I not brave? (I stuck it on an elephants bottom)

So! After the footie and what seemed like an eternity riding on buses we got back to his hometown of Faringdon. A very pleasant little place. We then embarked on a pub crawl, especially taking in all the rough pubs his lovely wife McGroot will not let him frequent.

Many pints of Guinness were quaffed and it was a top night, most interesting moment of the evening was stood at the bar of the Wheatsheaf and seeing a fella waltz round the side with his nads out and a luminous bracelet round them (one up from your usual displays eh Dome?). We ended up in a curry house the size of a front room and enjoy the antics of a drunken local sliding down the stairs on his arse and then abandoning his bird to pay! (which she didn't!) Ah the joys of rural life.

We then decamped to P's capacious home (which has more doors than any house I've ever known) for a bit of Young Ones watching and P falling asleep and snoring. An excellent evening.

But now I back and have to relay the end of an era. This is 'puter chair:

A piece of shit but it served me well for the last 4 years. It was hellishly uncomfortable and I'm sure the source of my bruised coccyx for the last year or so, I mean look at it! The back is ripped so I couldn't lean back and I had to stick 2 cushions on to make it bearable. It also gave me rough elbows.

BUT NOW! Behold:

'Puter Chair II this is the future of 'puting. And the future is comfortable! How did I survive so long? I should have listened to Angry!