Oh......my......key!!!!

You thought life could get no better BUT look:

http://twochineseboys.blogspot.com/

No! This isn't some sexcase porno site you sick wierdos!

It's high comedy from the guys who brought you "I want it that way".

Big Dunc has gone and got himself sent off for chinning someone again!

BAH!

I do think you fit this shoe

OH! And another thing. A-ha are in the top ten!!!!

Who would believe it. They're at number ten in the hit parade (as my dad would call it).

AND I'm off to see them live at Shepherds Bush on thursday with my beloved sidekick 'P'.

On the down side my mum has been taken into hospital.

Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard

Well! I'm at home today feeling quite ill.

The relaxing sound of the school next door permeates the house.

Bad news is it's footie tonight, I haven't played for 3 weeks and can't play next week. By the time I play again I will be as mobile as a whale.

Now I'm stuck with what to do all day when I can't abide watching daytime telly.............hmmmmmm..................

I blame my home made chicken soup.

Aromatherapy......Smell to get well!

This entry isn't wisdom from myself but merely an entry in the group directory, it's some chap who works in Sheffield for our prestigious mega corporate, under interests/interest groups. The man is evidently a genius. This is a man for works in telecoms and has a team of four working for him. He's the kind of man you want to work for!

The interests of D*** W******:
I like goats; I take photographs of them in various states of dress and undress. Goats are nice; I'd like to have one as my friend one day. Maybe he'd be called Andrew, or Jerome? I also like talking to aliens. I used to know some, they were nice, if a little too intellectual for me. I'm learning to paint watercolour; I like mushroom hunting, and marmite. I also like cows, conversations with them can be hugely stimulating, if a little slow. But goats are my favourites. Did I mention that? Goats are fun because they all have different personalities and have different little habits that can be amusing or interesting. Goats are very affectionate and especially during the summer, when they are too hot to be active, they like to just hang around people and get a good scratch. Most goats' favourite scratchy spot is around their shoulder but some even liked to be scratched in between their toes.

Rumi says have fun, HR Connect say don't have fun. I'm going with Rumi on the matter :o)

He is the man!

Black cat, barbed wire, politicians funeral pyre....

Guess what? (a laser!!)

No!

My Department is having a day out of the office (to brainwash us with the latest corporate engagement babble) and the entertainment I hear you cry!

BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!!

Can I resist the temptation to pick up my guitar in anger and play?

It would be in front of 400-600 people. I've already tapped up a drummer and keyboard player.

Hmmmmmm, much ponderment required.

Sorry, but you are finished..........Here

Nat's word is my command so here are my sevens:

Seven Things To Do Before I Die (besides have a good time all the time)
Drive across the USA (any takers?)
Watch Everton again in Europe
See A-ha in Norway
Visit Minky in New Zealand
Get old and watch sport all day
Live abroad
Go to Mauritania

Seven Things I Can't Do
Resist women
Understand people who live to work
Speak foreign languages well
Eat Broccoli or Cauliflower
Drink a half pint
Face up to the truth
Stand losing you
(Oh! I can't roll my Rs either)

Seven Things I Like Aboot Blogging
It's a good word
I get to read Natterjack's words of wisdom
It makes me more attractive
It gives me something to look at at work
I learn things (rarely but sometimes)
I can preach the word of cheese
It sounds like something the dutch do

Seven Things I Say Most
Fight the power
I'll think aboot it
No
Cheese
What the devil is that all aboot?
F***
No way!

Seven Things You Don't Know Aboot Me
First nights make me nervous
I love smoking particularly in bed, but never will again
I used to average 7 pints of Guinness a day
I once gave up my whole network of friends because I considered them disloyal
I can't stand still for very long
My stamp collection
I have an innate disrespect for seniority and tend insult senior people/arrogant celebrities when drinking.

Seven Films/TV Progs I can Watch Over and Over Again
Rumblefish
Police Squad
Bill & Ted
Last of the Mohicans
Friends (and Channel 4 force me to)
The Great Escape
Lord of the Rings

I'm on the run from the gun of a bum

Guess what?

Well! I was down the pub last Friday (the Spanish Galleon to be precise) having a few warm up beers before going on to a party. Anyway somehow we get on to jury service and Stevo tells us all aboot his experience.

I say, 'I'd love to do that, but it's unlikely as I was off the electoral roll for years as a poll tax avoider'.

Next morning a clump from the letterbox.

I'm doing jury service in March! How spooky is that?

Criminals beware!

I fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror's sending me these days

Oh yes! The pot head story. Don't think I've told it.
If I have blame my fading memory.

It's a tale of years gone by and youthful naivety.

I was chatting to my friend Gray back home oop north in sunny Rainford.
We were chatting aboot teachers at Rainford High School.
He mentioned Mr Rigby the physics teacher (a typical grew up in the sixties type with beard, shit hair and coudroy jacket (that how you spell it? never typed that before)) and how he was a useless teacher and they called him 'Pothead'.

Of course in my inexperienced state I asked the obvious question 'Why do you call him that?'

To which Gray, in a similar place, replied 'Because he has a head like a pot'

[Cue laughter]

I was sitting in the car last year and the conversation came back to me. I wonder if it was because of his funny shaped head?

They forgive everything but greatness....

Well!

I haven't posted anything for a ***** age, but hopefully I can return back to form now.

So what's happened to me?......

Had the parents down for christmas, and cooked them a huge turkey (£40!!!!! cos it was organic). It was good for them as they needed a rest from bring up their grandaughter Lauren (my niece) who is a complete sweety but they're too old to be doing it. Sadly my sister is criminally insane and not fit to do it herself.
















Lauren Yesterday (please note: I know she's a Ginger but she's a little love)((AND NO! there is no ginge in me!!!))

I can't say I go anything exciting for christmas (although I did get a jumper that didn't fit) but it was relaxing all the same and an entertaining game of pictionary or two was had.

New year's eve? Sat in a local pub with my old friend Gray (did I tell you the pot head story?) I've known him since he was 2 and he's followed me round the country and now lives down the road in Welling (My mum is greatly distressed by this, even though she loves him to bits, as she thinks he's a stalker). He got a roboraptor for christmas and brought it round. It looks good but doesn't really do much. Although he did put it on 'vicious mode' and sent it after the cat. Unfortunately the cat actually seemed quite aroused by this and spent the next ten minutes purring and rubbing herself up against it.

Right, where am I going with this?..........

Nowhere