Kur ir tualetes? Ir notikusi nelaime!

Why is it that everything always seems worse in the morning?

Woke up yesterday wracked with all my worries.

Took me back to my youth. I often used to wake up sweating and with all my troubles front of mind.

One day I woke up and said 'Fuck it'. This became my new philosophy and I did a lot of daft things and had some great times. I fear my philosophy has faded to the back of my mind in the subsequent years.

Perhaps it's time to embrace it one again.

Oh yes. On an important point:

Nice 'N' Spicy Nik Naks - Food of the Gods!

The other end of time

Another glorious win for England.

Well, a win anyway. Went round to Pantsfellah's place to watch it and took some booze, including a weird alcopop (Cockspur Mandarin and Lime! free from't Indian) which to my embarrassment turned out to be sell by date 2004!

GINGERLY

Now there's a word. What is the derivation of it anyone?
My feelings are that ginger people don't move very well as a result of genetic inco-ordination and hence to move gingerly, or in a ginger fashion, is to move in a weak or delicate stylee.

You could be a million miles away, but when you call I will find you....

Ah! What a beautiful day!

In his own inimitable style my good friend Minky called on Wednesday. Always a pleasure to talk to him I said 'Where are you fella? When are you coming to London?'

[Good point to note at this stage is the fact that the Minkster lives in New Zealand - Even further than Natterjack!]

'I'm here!' he replys 'Is it ok if I stay at your tomorrow and Friday'. Well, who am I to say no to a man who has travelled for over 30 hours. So me and Minky spent a pleasurable evo trawling the bars of Greenwich watching footie and then again the following night. Sadly he no longer drinks due to an affliction he had in South America. So we came home with him tired but perky and me somewhat hammered.

Apparently New Zealand is very small, has no nasty big spiders, has lots of single women due to a dearth of men and has only one, even slightly decent, football team which plays in the Australian league. Amazing what you can find out in a night!

Today I woke up to a disapointingly dull day and drove up the M11 to see Mazzy Must. We had a fantastic day as the sun came out and we went to Mole Hall and saw otters and chimps and guinea pigs and turkeys and flamingos and peacocks and deer and oh so much! It was a lovely time and just lying out on a rug in the sun in the country was fantastic.


















An otter yesterday

Now I have battered back down the M11 and plan to pop to the pub to meet Divvy H for the footie. In't summer brilliant!

Oh one more thing! I lived with the Minkster for four years in which time we had many excellent times:
Going on holiday to Malta and having such a good time we both ended up being off work ill for months
Chatting up the ladies in London with varying degrees of success
Going on holiday to Gran Canaria, meeting and going out with the tallest girls in the world
ack I can't remember anymore, maybe it wasnt that good.
But I do know that he is such a top man I could happily live with him indefinitely. He's the perfect flat mate. We discussed this but came to the conclusion that long term cohabition was not an option as the thought of touching each others penii was abhorrent to us.

My funniest memory is me showing Minky report in the paper saying Palace (his team) had won one nil. The scorer was down as 'Bent'.
Minky: Who's Bent?
Spunky: Your Dad.

Reet! Pub time.

And when the wombat comes, he will find me gone. He will look for a place to sit.

Ah what a horrific day.

Anyway enough of today..... yesterday:

Big announcement in Corporate towers a significant number of people have their jobs moved to different locations. Piano man kicks off the announcements with a few 'jokes' and sound bites aboot how he shares the pain. (What is it aboot getting hugely paid jobs in control of hundreds of people that turns them into cunts?) Anyway he gets to the main event, a lot of peoples heads drop. A lot of my friends are affected in this.

Guess what happens next?

.......................go on guess......................

No? Well, he finishes the speeches and loads of people applaud!!! For fucks sake!!!! This cues old Spunky to have a bit of a swearing fit. How the hell can people applaud the potential end of peoples careers?

I'll tell you what, Corporate Towers in packed to the gunnels with self serving pricks.

Speaking of which Joe 90 and me had a chat today. I am in dispute with him over the fact that he wants to give one of my team a shit review. Guess what he does after we have our meeting?

....................go on guess...........................

No? Well, he says I am an ineffective manager and that he's going to give me a poor review now as well. For fucks sake, what a cunt of a man, he's not fit to manage his mind. Ah if only we were back in school I'd give the prick a good shoeing.

Can you tell I'm in a bad mood here?

We played footie tonight as well and lost!!! Not my day. Was a good game though and me and angry made a very imposing central defensive pairing. Sadly Lips went off injured and having the man down cost us dear.

Anyone got a job for a mid thirties (low mileage) manager?

I would like to apologise for my over use of the C word above. I'm a touch riled. If anyone is offended please comment and I will bleep them out.

P.S. I changed my mind, kiss my ass.

OWWWWW!!!!!

I am fresh back from Nurse Liz adminstering me my Hepatitis A booster that covers me for 25 years.

It hurt!!!!

It also bled all over my shirt.

And my arm aches!

On a lighter note I put £20 on Spain at half time when they were one nil down and won £43!

HURRAH!

Reet I'd better go to the the hell known as Corporate Towers.

Here's how it works

Very exciting this morning. The old Hopsital has been slowly demolished over the last month or two and all that was left this morning was the chunk where the lifts were and a huge chimney by the road.

















BEFORE

Now, I get regular E-Mails from my local councillor Mary Mills (whose E-mail address is Marymillsmmmmmmmmmmmmmm or somesuch because I feel she is so yummy people say 'Mmmmmmmmmmmmm' whenever they say her name). Anyway! She informed me (and a huge other list of people) that the chimney was coming down at 10:30 this morning.

SO. Me and the Greenwich posse went to Tarantino's house to watch the show. AND very exciting it was too and big bang and slow fall and a huge crunch as it hit the floor. The whole house shuddered where we were some hundred feet away.













AFTER

Now! I have this on a little video clip from the camera but don't know how to post it on (if it is possible someone tell me please). Otherwise you can E-mail me on omegacds@hotmail.com and I'll send it to you.

And although it's hard to pause, I'm sure it's worth my time.

Picture the scene........

I'm walking through Greenwich and decide to cross the road. I saunter across the busy flow avoiding cars and some stupid great big Land Rover type thing (are they called ATVs? Or was that a ZX Spectrum game?) comes roaring up and although nowhere near the big **** inside beeps the horn at me.

Now maybe this is just me but it's an instinctive reaction.

I shout "Fuck off!" and flick the V's.

I look back the way I'm going an a middle aged couple face me.

"I'm terrible sorry, I must apologise for my swearing" I say and walk on feeling slightly foolish.



The World Cup is here!!!!!!

Everyone excited? Me and PAnts are going to put £2 on every game.

Possible loss I think is £124 but you never know! We could win money!

Anyway. I'll keep you appraised.

Without you skies are grey, time doesn't pass, there's nothing left but rain.

Well! Here I am. Still hanging around.

Working from home today so I have time to post you -

Another dream from the mind of Trunks:

I'm going back to university (who knows why??) and I'm going with Ian Marshall's Double, Divvy the Younger and his girlfriend (In reality she's his wife AND she had a different face)
[NB I rarely see IMD as he's up in Leeds and DtY I never see at all anymore, despite the fact his wife works behind me. Addiotionally to my knowledge none of them went to Warwick University - SO it's all a bit random really]

We arrive and go to the old science department (where I studied Chemistry for half my time there. OH the pain of Thursday and Friday labs 10-4. I used to have to leave when the bars opened and come back when they shut, 5 pints of Woodpecker (draught!) the merrier. That made it all bearable. Although once my whole experiment exploded in my absence). We then need to get back to our accomodation which is CH3 - 203.
[Cryfield Hall the third to the uninitiated, now I never lived in that hall, it was the quiet hall for God's sake and never had that room number despite living in CH1 and CH2 in my first and third years respectively. However my good friend Andy Chemist was hall tutor there after I left and he did kindly let me live on his floor for a while when I was homeless]

So, anyway, I set off and manage to lose IMD et al I'm wandering all over the shop (It appeared I'd walked through the doss house known as 'Social Sciences'), despite knowing the way like the back of my hand, and I'm forced to ask directions of a security guard.
[Warwick was in posession of a number of comedy security guards, the most amusing of which left a note on my windscreen once because I had parked on the one way street pointing in the wrong direction. The message read, simply enough, 'YOU ARE WRONG'. These are highly educated guys!]

I keep walking for ages and finally recognise where I am. I'm walking up roads thinking 'shit this has changed'. Where fields were there's a church (I thought religion was on the way out!) and even a tower block.
[It looked a bit like Canley, which is by the Westwood accommodation, actually so there's more mixed upness there]

Anyhoo, I walk through an estate. It's huge, there are hundreds and hundreds of identical houses. Looming over this is a huge crane, very daunting and looking like a space invader. It's all a bit apocalyptic to be honest. They clouds are dark grey and the atmosphere is heavy.

I walk across a little bridge across a wee river and DtY turns up on his bike (this oddly seems normal to me). He decides to take the longer route as he doesn't want to carry his bike over the stile on the bridge.
[Check that for unecessary detail in a dream! He was also wearing one of the silly outfits serious bike riders wear]

So....I call IMD on't moby (I have for some reason changed his name on my mobile to 'I want a kebab' - why the devil would I do that?) to give him directions.

I'm aboot there when I come across a mother with her very young child (no more than 2). The child has two sets of black tentacles attached at the abdomen. I'm discussing what we should do aboot it with her when I wake up.
[Do you think you wake up when you get to place in the dream when you can go no further or it becomes too weird?]

So! There you go. That was a dream I had a few weeks ago that I wrote down. I wanted to recycle the paper so I've typed it up to make you suffer it too!